Everywhere across America from the President to your local representative there is the discussion of healthcare. The plan is to provide some type of basic coverage to all (in some form or fashion) and involve the Government in providing the service. Recently I had my own experience with the healthcare system that reminded me the path to reform doesn’t just mean providing coverage we need an OVERHAUL.
I’ve had HMOs and PPOs and my preference has always been PPOs. The flexibility to select whatever doctor you want is great and not having to pay a co-pay to see a general practitioner to get a referral to see a specialist. Now I’m apart of the HMO machine from hell that is known as Kaiser Permanente. Want to overhaul healthcare Mr. President? Start with Kaiser Permanente.
When I belonged to a PPO if I needed to see a specialist I would go see a specialist. Period. With Kaiser that’s just too damn easy. Let’s look at the layers of bull. You walk in and stand in the check-in line for your appointment. At my local center they move the check-in desk every few years for no damn reason so just finding the line can be a chore. When you check-in they ask for your co-pay (oh joy). Then you end up sitting in a waiting room waiting on the doctor. You notice its full but its always full so you just sit and wait amongst the older and younger less disciplined crew.
You arrive 5 minutes prior to your appointment time and when you sit down you read the sign on the wall that says if you have not been seen 15 minutes after your scheduled appointment time alert the receptionist (check-in). Okay so you do that and they tell you to be patient. Interesting. The doctor isn’t patient if I’m late so why do I have to work with her? So NOT fair but you sit back down. 30 minutes later the receptionist figures she better look like she’s trying to figure out what’s going on so she gets up and goes in the back and instructs us all to ‘be patient’. Well you being who you are you remind her (out loud in front of other patients because that’s the American way) that the doctor isn’t patient for us when we’re late. There you still sit.
And sit.
And sit UNTIL the door cracks open and the nurse calls your name. By this time you’re 45 minutes past your appointment time. Good thing you don’t have another appointment or you’d be fucked. After getting your vitals the nurse takes you to a room to sit and wait yet again for the doctor. And there you start the waiting game of hearing your doctor be only a few steps away but always by-passing your door to get to the next high blood pressure patient. Then 55 minutes in you see the knob start to turn on the door and then enters the doctor.
Now, just because you’ve waited far longer than you should have had to doesn’t mean the doctor is going to give me more than 2 minutes of her time. I’ve got speak faster than a cheating husband caught in bed with his mistress just to get a diagnosis. After the doctor is done listening they login to their little database system and place notes and any prescriptions you’re being given. So you figure the wait is over but oh its JUST begun. Now you’ve got to try to get those prescriptions and THAT’S when you start to play healthcare musical chairs.
Upon leaving your doctor’s office they tell you to go to the pharmacy to get your prescriptions. When you arrive at the pharmacy the LAST thing you want to do is sit down. No sir. You’ve got ANOTHER check-in to do and there is a line for that. So you stand in line AGAIN waiting to check-in. Why check-in pharmacy do you ask? Well because I guess Kaiser feels it makes no commonsense that a person that just left the doctor for an appointment would actually want the meds the same day so they don’t actually fill the prescription until 24-hours later EXCEPT if you check-in. So you check-in and SIT.
Oh yes you MUST sit again to wait for them to prepare your prescription and while you’re sitting they tell you to torture yourself by watching the board for your name. 15 minutes can seem like a lifetime when you’re waiting for the screen to refresh hoping that its your name that’s the latest update but of course it never really works out that way. You’ve been held hostage until they are done charging you for wasting your time. Remember, health insurance is supposed to be better than just showing up at an emergency room with no coverage. Even with the same wait?
So after 20 or 30 minutes you FINALLY see your name on the board. Now I know you don’t think you’re just gonna walk up and pay and leave do you? No sir. You’ve got a PICK UP LINE to stand in so you can pay for that prescription. So now you’re on to the NEXT line to stand and wait for a rep to say ‘Next!’ only to stand there and continue to wait for them to FIND your prescription. After you’ve done that its time to breakout your wallet so that you can pay for the prescription you checked-in, waited AND stood in a pick-up line for. Yeah you’re finally done after almost two hours of your time.
So after they have raped your wallet and wasted your time with line after line you’re sent home broke and ill. GOT to love Kaiser. So if the President wants to improve health insurance he needs to start with the fucking lines. I mean really is all of the waiting necessary? Frankly when I look into the pharmacy I see most of them just standing around not doing much of anything. If people can’t pick up a prescription right after seeing the doctor without checking-in first, then why are you rushing to work on it instead of calling the people in line that are here to pick up? You know why right? Because that would make sense and health insurance isn’t supposed to make sense.
When open enrollment season begins I will be there to shit all over Kaiser yet again this year in hopes of a better insurance. I’m not a fan of red tape and this year I plan to be the scissors to their tape and cut into their layers of bullshit department by department.
Next up, Membership Services.
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